This personal essay was written by Gloria Murray for the College Lakes Baptist Church newsletter, The Challenger, in March 1990.  It's especially appropriate to release this essay now with the recent tragic news that the Murray's oldest daughter, Shelly, and her husband, Jeremy Miller, have lost a second child, miscarrying 4 weeks into her second pregnancy.  Now they have Six in Heaven.

 Four in Heaven

            I knew and believed from the moment of conception that in my body was a human life created by God.  To a non-Christian, it's merely a blob of tissue "waiting to become life."  At my present 9 weeks of pregnancy with approximately 7 weeks of life lies a child who is as real, human and just alive as my other children, Shelly and Patrick.

            Quite unexpectedly today (March 22^nd), I saw this life I carry inside me by ultrasound.  At only 9 weeks, I saw a human body and also a strong, beating heart.  A few seconds later, all of us watched as this child moved and turned over.  And to think, sadly, that some infants are killed at this stage of life.  I just looked at it and felt such closeness to God to know where this child comes from and how it lives.

            As I think of this life in me now, I never forget the other four children I lost about three weeks prior to where I am now at this stage in pregnancy.  I knew then that they were in Heaven and did not merely vanish.  I also know that I will see them one day.  With the child I carry now, I do realize there is no guarantee all will go well in the next four weeks.  If I lose this one too, it will be very hard on me.  I'm just that way.  But I would recover, I know, and get through it with the Lord's help, taking comfort in knowing where my child would be.  But what else would be helpful?

            The church would also be a help.  A memorial service would seem quite necessary where there's a body to bury, regardless of the size.  During the early stages of pregnancy (which were my cases), I could not see the body with my eyes.  In such cases, I personally would not choose a memorial service.  A visit to the family from the pastor and his wife would be my choice.

            It should also be announced in all church services and in the church newsletter.  Church members should know.  This should apply for all miscarriages, early or late in pregnancy.  Regardless of how far along the mother was when she lost her baby, it needs to be told.  It would be improper to keep it quiet and not let the church family know that there was a life that is no longer with the family.

            I feel the people of our church would be very understanding, concerned and remember that particular family in their prayers.  If something should go wrong with my current pregnancy, I do want my church family to know.

            Randy and I are very thankful to God for giving us a child, a child that we want to love Jesus from the very beginning and who will serve Him - the same desire we have for Shelly and Patrick.

            As I excitedly await the October arrival of a new babe, to finally meet the child I will have carried nine months, I also think about another day.  I think about my four children in Heaven and that special day when I'll get to meet them.

On October 30, 1990, Sara Jo Murray was born, fullfilling a mother's prayer.  Please pray for those ladies who've lost a child -- not a fetus -- through miscarriage.  They are still mothers nonetheless, and if they trust the Lord Jesus as their Savior, they will one day be re-united with their children.